The Day Before

What do you do the day before a life changing decision? A decision that is out of your hands - a decision that is not your own but affects your own. We have been here before over a year ago with our little Sunshine, waiting, wishing, wanting. Last time it didn't turn out the way we had wished, hoped and prayed. The day before was full of anxieties, and fears.

Today is different although the situation is the same. I feel calm. Maybe it is a gift and for that I am grateful. I have been able to live the last six months with Sunshine enjoying her company without fearing the future. So today I cherish every hug and smile, sit and sing the intro to Dora in my off-key voice, wash and fold her little clothes and remind her not to run on the couch.

No matter what a judge says tomorrow she is still my little girl. She has always had my heart and always will.