Saying Goodbye ... Again

Court did not go as we had hoped. The judge awarded Sunshine's biological parents joint custody.

That's right. Six months of laughing, crying, hugging, coloring, nose-wiping, sleepless nights and loving and Sunshine is going back- again.

So somehow I have to pack up her things - again.

Tell my boys her sister is leaving for an indefinite period of time - again.

And cry myself to sleep for who knows how long - again.

The Day Before

What do you do the day before a life changing decision? A decision that is out of your hands - a decision that is not your own but affects your own. We have been here before over a year ago with our little Sunshine, waiting, wishing, wanting. Last time it didn't turn out the way we had wished, hoped and prayed. The day before was full of anxieties, and fears.

Today is different although the situation is the same. I feel calm. Maybe it is a gift and for that I am grateful. I have been able to live the last six months with Sunshine enjoying her company without fearing the future. So today I cherish every hug and smile, sit and sing the intro to Dora in my off-key voice, wash and fold her little clothes and remind her not to run on the couch.

No matter what a judge says tomorrow she is still my little girl. She has always had my heart and always will.

Project 52 Week 21

This last weekend was my oldest nephew's wedding. Although I was not the wedding photographer I had fun taking as many pictures as I could because, well, I love taking pictures. This is one of my favorites.

Project 52 Week 20

Last night I was out watching the kids play basketball for our family night activity (Sheriff's choice) and I saw the sun going down over the mountains. It wasn't a spectacular sunset by any stretch of the imagination but what caught my attention was the pretty tree in front of my neighbor's house that was in front of the green field with the mountain in the background. I quickly ran for my camera but the light was fading fast. What resulted was more of a silhouette style picture.

I took the same picture though and lightened it and saturated it to see what the result would be...

Project 52 Week 19

I know, I know, I have been terrible at keeping up with project 52 but in all fairness the site I chose for project 52 gave up on ME. They stopped posting inspiring ideas for pictures and as I'm not an original thinker I couldn't come up with my own ideas for pictures.

Until yesterday.

I was driving my two younger boys two school... you know... the ones who got kicked off the bus for not following the safety rules. Anywhooo. As I was driving them to school and repeating to myself over and over "only a few more minutes and you will have peace and quiet" (relative peace and quiet... I still have 2 1/2 year old Sunshine... but try having a morning with Smiley and Giggles and you will understand what I am talking about).

It was then that I looked up at the mountains and I thought "where the heck is my camera!!!" I wanted to turn around right then and get it but that would mean more time in the car with two naughty boys so I bit my nails the whole time hoping the beautiful view would last until I dropped them off and ran home for my Canon Rebel to capture what I was seeing. Of course the beautiful rays of sun shining through a brief gap in the clouds were gone but I still managed to get a couple of pretty pictures. If you look closely at the first picture you can see a bird flying across. I think clouds and mountains are beautiful. Frankly I think so many things are beautiful but I haven't quite figured out how to capture what my eye sees yet. Perhaps one day...

So Confused

I don't know about you but this weather has me really confused. I'm a confused person at the best of times. One of the side effects of my migraine medication Topomax actually says it causes "mental blurring". Mental blurring? What exactly is that supposed to mean? I'm not really sure except to say that now I can blame pretty much everything I do wrong on my migraine medication. Say something stupid, forget something, take a wrong turn, forget someone's name... blame it on the medication. My sisters who are also on the same medication call it a dopomax moment. I forgot to pick up marshmallows today for my son's cubscouts activity tomorrow night - dopomax moment. I feel sorry for other people who don't have a scapegoat like I do. It is rather comforting to have an excuse rather than know that I could actually be truly absent-minded, directionally-challenged or down right thoughtless. That would be horrific.

The weather has no excuse however. Here we are just a few weeks ago.

And here we are just a couple of days ago.

I got all of our summer bins out as we were roasting and burning in the sun. Smiley was disappointed as I told him to put back his shorts and t-shirt he had laid out on his dresser the night before to wear to school. I put back on all my winter layers and turned on the heater to the house that Brett had turned off on Saturday. Hopefully this back and forth of hot and cold will not last too long. Too bad we can't give Mother Nature some medication for these hot and cold flashes.