When we started fostercare in March 2007 we knew we were doing the right thing. We welcomed 2 little girls into our home and said goodbye 3 weeks later. Then we welcomed 3 little boys into our home and they stayed and became a permanent part of our family.
In June 2009 we again welcomed into our home a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. We were there as she learned to roll over, learned to crawl, learned to go from the bottle to baby food to solid food. We watched her get her first tooth, and then some. We were there for her first words and then some. We accepted her hugs, her kisses, her bites, and gave her hugs and kisses in return. We watched her take her first steps with help and then on her own.
Today we were there as the judge ruled that this beautiful (now 15 month old) girl is to return home to her birth father. How do you tell your heart to stop breaking, the tears to stop falling. How do you wish her well in her birth home and still wish she was staying with you? How do you sleep again at night wondering what she is doing, how she is doing, whether she is missing you, wondering why the mother she has known for 7 months is not there to feed her, hug her, play with her, comfort her. How do I?
15 comments:
Robin-My heart hurts for you. I don't know how to make it not hurt for you, but I do know that I will pray and cry with you. Good luck to you and Brett.
This is the reason I could not foster. I would hate giving the child up.
I wish I could take on some of the hurt for you. You know I would if I could. {{HUGS}}
I deleted my last comment due to my deplorable spelling so I'll try again.
Thanks for the hugs and well wishes. I love doing fostercare and don't regret taking this sweet girl for a second (even when she gives me bites for kisses).
I know that we have done our best to give her a good home while her parents have worked through things. It still doesn't make it easy to say goodbye so I'll just have to carry lots of Kleenex with me for the next little while and hope that people forgive me when I cry when they ask the seemingly simple question "how are you?"
She will hold with her in her heart every kind word, every hug, every kiss. They will always be there. Hugs and prayers for both of you~
INCONSOLABLE! INCONSOLABLE! INCONSOLABLE!
I don't think there could be a worse pain that having a child taken from your life. I remember Pat saying that having a foster child ripped from your life is worse than having them die because often they are placed back into less than ideal circumstances and you feel helpless to protect them.
Tiffany went through this last year at this time.
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. This is why it would be so much better if God would just give us all stone cold hearts. ;)
HUG HUGS!!!
And here's a box of kleenex too!
LY, Dr. Robin!
I wish I understood life!
Robin, I am so sorry! How lucky she was to have you for that short time to love her!! We are praying for you!!
Thanks you guys! There's a sale on Kleenex today and I'm going to pick some more up because even though I keep telling my eyes to stop with this watering thing they just won't listen to me. Strange that.
And just when I think I am fine...mine start again as well. I think are lines are connected. I am so glad that I have been able to hug her and hold her and play with her. I know I will treasure that forever.
Oh Robin - I'm so sorry. Much love to you, Brett and the boys.
Robin, I am sure you don't remember me my last name was Houldsworth and I use to go to church with your family in Toronto. I cannot imagine the hurt you are going through. I did suffer several misscarriages before having my son and I know that was painful enough and I am sure does not come close to how you are feeling.
Just know that in fostering that little girl you are a hero. I think being a foster parent is a wonderful thing and you have to be selfless to do that as the outcome is never a given. So many people could not do what you and your husband have done. Just try to keep the memories of your time with her close, to carry you through this difficult time
You and Brett are truly heros for doing what you do. Just lean on your family and friends for support that is what they are there for. I am again so sorry for your hurt and send my thoughts and prayers to all of you. Take care. Tracey (Houldsworh) Hewlett
love you Robin - let me watch the boys for awhile and you can shop or sew a few tears away - in the mean time, try to feel some of the prayers that are being said in your behalf (and in hers :) xoxo
love you guys!
I really feel for you and your family. Like Crash said we had the same thing happen last year with our foster son.
We had him since birth and he left at 11 months old. We had already adopted his two sisters.
But you know, it worked out for us and we are all well, so is he and life moves on.
It is so hard though. I cried my eyes out too, Still it is how we handle the trials of life that make us the people we are.
I can tell you are good people.
Take care
***Hugs**
Post a Comment